I’m so emotionally drained right now…



fun fact: if a persons body odor smells good to you that means they have an immune system basically opposite of yours! this happens so the chances of finding a mate with the opposite immune system is greater and the chances that any offspring you produce together will have a stronger immune system is greater.

this is fascinating

jam-core ;)
James baby wearing Melody :) <3 #melody #rainbowbaby #9weeksold #james #family

James baby wearing Melody :) <3 #melody #rainbowbaby #9weeksold #james #family

My little cheeky monkey! ;) &lt;3 #melody #9weeksold #rainbowbaby

My little cheeky monkey! ;) <3 #melody #9weeksold #rainbowbaby

Smiley baba :) &lt;3 #melody #9weeksold #rainbowbaby

Smiley baba :) <3 #melody #9weeksold #rainbowbaby

I’ve made a decision…

It’s made me really sad but I had to make one.
I’m not trying to get my breast milk supply up anymore. I don’t have the time to sit there pumping 24/7 and she’s now having 7oz everytime 3-4 hours, and by the time I get it up she will be having even more.

It’s gone on too long now. If I’ve not managed to get it up now by 9 weeks then I doubt it will happen. I’m still gonna breastfeed like I do now, every now and again to keep my supply there. But I’m not going to obsess over it being all she has.

It’s just really depressed me because I had my heart set on breastfeeding since I was ttc. It makes me feel really close to her and I don’t get that with bottle feeding. It’s just typical that it’s me that has an issue. Everyone else I know can do it, but I can’t :/ I feel like a failure and to be quite honest, I get jealous when I see my friend breastfeeding.

I had such an awful birth and now I can’t even breastfeed my own baby. Im the person who wanted it most out of all the people I know, and I’m the only one that can’t do it properly :(

But because I’m not getting my supply up I’m gonna start my fast diet again. I’ve been feeling really low about myself recently and I started to put a bit of weight back on. So I want to lose it before I get bad again.
My PCOS makes it like 3x as hard for me to lose weight and keep it off, so if I don’t start now it will be even harder.

I don’t like feeling low about myself. I was so full of confidence before I was pregnant and even during the pregnancy. I’m slimmer than I was before pregnancy yet I feel disgusting. I hate feeling this way so I want to change it.

I’m going to start in the next few days and ill blog about my weight loss etc.

Wish me luck!


As some of you may have noticed, my side blog (miscarriage confessions) has slowed down once again.
With the arrival of my rainbow and moving house, I’ve been super busy and unable to keep up.
I did take on Courtney as an admin to help, but now her rainbow is also here so we just don’t have the…

Last time I did this I had tonnes of people wanting to do this, now no one has applied.

I will say that if no one applies I may close the Miscarriage confessions blog because we are just too busy to do it and the inbox will just continue to get backed up.

I’ll give it until tomorrow morning (it’s 8.30pm here now) and then if now one has applied ill probably close the blog.


As some of you may have noticed, my side blog (miscarriage confessions) has slowed down once again.
With the arrival of my rainbow and moving house, I’ve been super busy and unable to keep up.
I did take on Courtney as an admin to help, but now her rainbow is also here so we just don’t have the time we would like.

I’m opening applications for a new admin for this blog. I’ll keep it open for 24 hours, and then go through them and pick which person I think is best suited. I’m only taking applicants who have experienced a miscarriage or babyloss as it gives them the experience to help others.

If you are interested then send me a message on my personal blog (sarah-likes-love) and tell me why you think you’d be good for the role :)

You’ll be making up the confessions, you can pick your own templates, giving advice and also support.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you! :)

tell me why u follow me on anon
Life update…

Since I’ve not really posted much in a while here’s an update on things.

I’ll warn you, it might get long :’)

So melody is now 8 weeks. She’s doing really well and is a little chubby! She’s smiling a lot and seems like she’s trying to laugh. She’s done small ones on a couple of occasions. I know it sounds mad because it’s so early but she keeps trying to sit up. She will tense and lift her head, neck and top of her back up. And she will actually lift it a few centimetres! It’s so weird to see!

Breastfeeding isn’t too good but it’s better. As I mentioned previously because of me being unwell my supply isn’t as much as it should. We had to give her formula which made it worse.
I started taking fenugreek and pumping regularly. I went from only getting 1/2 oz from both boobs combined, to getting 2oz combined.
Then I started breastfeeding Melody before her feeds and when she was fussing as I know her actually suckling is better than a pump. So I’ve been pumping less (also due to lack of time) and I don’t know how much I’m producing now. Sometimes she will sleep for up to an hour after breastfeeding before needing the bottle so I’m not doing too bad.
I just can’t wait to be able to breast feed her properly again. I’m not giving up just yet!

I started taking the mini pill today, I can’t go on the combined which I normally would for my PCOS, because I’m breastfeeding. Not had sex yet and I’m a little scared due to my episiotomy but when I feel ready I’ll give it a go.

My OCD has gotten worse, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it on here before. But at the end of my pregnancy it got worse and it’s continued to do so. It’s mainly counting things that’s the worst at the moment but I’m also cleaning a lot more than I normally do and clicking my wrists which my doctors link to my OCD.
My gp said there is a tablet that’s safe with breastfeeding but she wants to wait first to see if it gets better. Unless it starts to get ridiculously bad, she wants to leave it be.

I’ve been going to baby massage classes with my friend who’s baby is a few weeks older than Melody every Tuesday. I’ve really been enjoying it and it’s been good to go out.

I can’t really think of anything else right now but if there’s anything else anyone wants an update on then let me know!